The Psychology of Giving: Why It Makes You Happier

The Psychology of Giving.

A deeper look at the psychology of giving and how it makes you happier.

“Giving Is Receiving.” Many of us may have heard this old saying before, but what does it mean?

This deceptively simple adage has held a deep significance in human history. Many people of all cultures and backgrounds think that pursuing material gain will make them happy, and rightfully so. Every business, advertisement, and celebrity seems to say so. By making more money, having a larger house, or merely owning more things, the void should be filled, right? The algebra of happiness may say otherwise.

A strategy that focuses on long term happiness is better off excluding high levels of material acquisition. An equation of exercise, relationships, and giving is much more robust. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t aim for any semblance of economic security, but avoid making that the all-encompassing aim.

By freeing your mental preconceptions and being open to the idea of giving, you create a more reliable arc of happiness and peace of mind.

A fleeting sense of fulfillment through material consumption.

Buying brand new things is fun, exciting, and shareable, but it could lead to a false sense of accomplishment.

“Treat yourself.”

Have you ever experienced the rush you get when you treat yourself to a new phone, buy a new car, or indulge in an expensive bottle of anything? The idea of material consumption can generate a feeling of satisfaction, caused by a surge of dopamine triggered by the purchase, but this is often short-lived. We find ourselves on the hedonistic treadmill, needing unsustainable levels of novelty to feel the same rushes of the past.

The pursuit of more creates an accelerating cycle of dependency that may even endure long term. Your neural circuitry is almost fried, so to speak, when pushed to excessive levels of stimulation. The positive reinforcement becomes harder to satisfy with each additional purchase. You are always going to need the latest and greatest, at least that’s how a consumer-based economy likes to frame it. People fall into spirals of “retail therapy” or spend their lives looking for greener pastures without considering the healthier alternative of gratitude.  

Why does the joy of giving not fade?

This can be traced back as an evolutionary adaption that helped us survive over many millennia. Groups and tribes that were more cooperative and willing to give for the greater good had much higher levels of fitness. When you give, you are essentially activating the ancient hardware that was beneficial for the species, and the behaviors are reinforced by the neurotransmitters that allow us to feel pleasure. Research has shown that the happiness resulting from many subsequent episodes of giving are no different from the very first time. Each giving experience is perceived as unique, so there is no decrease in sensitivity.

Giving can be a truly rewarding experience. Feelings of connection, love, and attachment are frequently associated with the act of giving. Smiles are contagious and appreciation is not forgotten.

The happiness that results from material gain is as ephemeral as the novelty itself. Genuine happiness through giving is longer lasting and does not desensitize over time.

A better place in the community.

Personal well-being aside, being a giver is not only prosocial but a great way to build a better reputation in your community. Simply put, generous people are often held in high regard, and it is easier for them to build meaningful connections with others. Improving and strengthening relationships naturally have a positive effect on mood.

In the words of Christopher Johnson McCandless, “Happiness is only real when shared.” This means that by giving, you will be able to create more lasting connections with other people, and hopefully, build cherished friendships and relationships. People are naturally inclined to return the favor when gifted and this engenders a virtuous cycle. When giving is selfless, reciprocity follows and communities are better off.

Give early and often.

Flexing your giving muscles early allows them to flourish over time. Like many of our skills and abilities, if we don’t use them they tend to atrophy. When you consider giving early, you can better leverage the benefits of compound interest, and use it to create an even greater impact.

Waiting to give unfortunately forces you to face the protective mechanism of loss aversion while insidiously diminishing your return on happiness. And because the fear of loss greatly outweighs the joy of gain, we are placed in a more compromising situation the longer we wait. This is a counterintuitive adaptation that will take nature forever to fix, so don’t wait!

It is much easier to give when the money appears less tangible, but it is harder to part ways with a pile of cash that is already in front of you.   

Start small, and let the effects of time enhance the charitable process for you. The idea of effective altruism is certainly one to consider, build upon, and share with others.